Geek necessity being the milf of invention, my RR#1 remedy behooved me to find creative solutions to my LOLcat-spawning condition
Download the RITSS
RITSS
Rural Involuntary Technology Simplicity Syndrome: a series of behavioral modifications and psychological side effects associated with sudden withdrawal from technology.
-inspired MP3 Do it in the Country
When invited to play New Brunswick’s prestigious Harvest Jazz and Blues Festival in 2009, I came to my old home town early for a pre-fest “week in the country.” The idea was to unwind from the pressures of the big city in the small rural community of Mactaquac, just outside the town of Fredericton.
But being in a rural environment for the first time in a while led to developing a little known condition called RITSS RITSS Rural Involuntary Technology Simplicity Syndrome: a series of behavioral modifications and psychological side effects associated with sudden withdrawal from technology. : Rural Involuntary Technological Simplicity Syndrome.
On the Pond
Jamming electronica with the sound of bullfrogs is like chicken soup for the urban soul
RITSS is a series of behavioral modifications and psychological side effects associated with sudden withdrawal from technology and may induced or amplified by extended periods in a rural environment, away from “geek Geek Not to be confused with freak; primarily solitary creature; habitats include living rooms, arcades and Dungeons & Dragons conventions; enjoys videogames, LOTR and Star Wars (except the really suxx0rz first three episodes) ; knows what’s cool even if others don’t get it; doesn’t give a shit who cares, because he’ll PWN their ass in a deathmatch anyways; chicks dig, even if they don’t admit gear” and “gadgetry.” I didnt’ realize I was such a technophile until the withdrawal symptoms kicked in: lapsing into L33t speak and the urge to make LOLcat pictures.
But RITSS also led to finding creative solutions to rural technological limitations - like how to make electronic music in a rural setting.
D00d, Where’s my appz?
Don’t get me wrong - rural life is nice. I’m enjoying having no phone, limited Internet and having background duck sounds on some of my music recordings. But not even 48 hrs into my stay in the deep woods of Mactaquac, New Brunswick, I started pining for YouTube and the sound of MP3 compression. I started having crazy thoughts - is this “involuntary simplicity” worth the time away from my fully loaded quad core and terabyte drive? With no easy access to FaceBook, what will my legions of stalkers do? And what about my apps? Not to mention my super-cold stainless steel fridge, designer toaster and battery of DJ DJ Not to be confused with “musician” or “talented artist”; plays music by inserting small hydrocarbon disc in digital player or analog turntable; manipulates sound and media in alledged “performance” of music, often using a laptop or other pre-recorded source; post-millenium equivalent of drugged-out rock star, but cooler and with better drugs; most musicians are envious of the DJ because he actually makes a living while they still deliver pizza or work at the music store; gets more chicks than drummers electro-music-boy toys?
Hey Johnny-boy
Drunk dial your friends even while next to the swamp - at 11 AM!
But my RITSS-crazed haze gave way to lucid revelation : my country adventure need not be simply a rural repository for my repos. No - it could also be a haven of NiMH luddite pwning haxx0r uber-rechargement and phatt jamz!
But how? How could I make nice geeky fun in the country? And how could I make electronic music with my bevvy of gizmos way out here next to a frog pond and bear poo?
Geek Geek Not to be confused with freak; primarily solitary creature; habitats include living rooms, arcades and Dungeons & Dragons conventions; enjoys videogames, LOTR and Star Wars (except the really suxx0rz first three episodes) ; knows what’s cool even if others don’t get it; doesn’t give a shit who cares, because he’ll PWN their ass in a deathmatch anyways; chicks dig, even if they don’t admit necessity being the milf of invention, my RR#1 remedy behooved me to find creative solutions to my LOLcat-spawning condition...
Tim’s Top Six RITSS Work-Arounds
Kill some trees
Forget wifi - paper is still some of the most reliable tech around
iPod Haxx Don’t have access to your office apps like Outlook and Adult FriendFinder? Your iPod is your next best friend. I have my entire contact list and pictures of my adult friends. I suppose you could even play Texas Hold ’em. Whatever you choose, just remember that your iPod is much than a simple device for music piracy.
Go lo-fi What’s that you say - iTunes won’t synchronize your Calendar properly (mine won’t)? Forget silicon and kill some trees, fool! Print out info like calendars and Google maps for quick, old skool access.
Don’t be an app crybaby Stop crying about not having your (fully legal) Adobe Creative Suite, Visio and 3D Studio Max. Get creative with shitty-but-fun mashups on MS Paint. Can’t update your website with Notepad and ftp access? Web Two Point Oh wusses will get what they deserve ...
The poor man’s PhotoShop
If you’re in the country and away from your main Windoze Box and all your appz, you may find yourself sucking with Microsoft Paint - but in a really funny way
Take your time It’s taken me about five minutes to type this line on a mobile keyboard. Suck it up - you’re in the country where time and thought move slowly
Ditch fossil fuel, man Forget trucks, cars and ATVs - bike power is where it’s at. Cuts down on tailgate partying, although you can still fit a six in the front fanny pack, you lush
Kaossilate Rock stars with big sound and light setups would do well with a trip to the country to reduce their gear footprint. Put away the double neck Les Paul and grab some cool battery-powered geek-struments like the Korg Kaossilator. So intuitive, even a drummer can play it.
Tim’s Rural-Inspired Jam : Do it In the Country
And did it I did - by myself, out in the gazebo, next to the bullfrogs overlooking the pond. Ah, the urban DJ DJ Not to be confused with “musician” or “talented artist”; plays music by inserting small hydrocarbon disc in digital player or analog turntable; manipulates sound and media in alledged “performance” of music, often using a laptop or other pre-recorded source; post-millenium equivalent of drugged-out rock star, but cooler and with better drugs; most musicians are envious of the DJ because he actually makes a living while they still deliver pizza or work at the music store; gets more chicks than drummers shall never know the bliss of bleeping, blipping blurbs of beatz soaring over the soft green fields of the Mactaquac headpond. Download it for free below. And rock on in the country.
