Musician

not to be confused with “drummer” and sometimes “trombonist”; lowest member of the “entertainment industry” hierarchy; poor, starving, sometimes homeless person, often with meth or heroin addiction; hearing-impaired and sometimes tone deaf; has cool clothes and can sleep with nearly any woman who sees him onstage, even if he can’t play very well; if schooled institutionally, may go on to become unsuccessful at teaching and eventually commit suicide; DJ DJ Not to be confused with “musician” or “talented artist”; plays music by inserting small hydrocarbon disc in digital player or analog turntable; manipulates sound and media in alledged “performance” of music, often using a laptop or other pre-recorded source; post-millenium equivalent of drugged-out rock star, but cooler and with better drugs; most musicians are envious of the DJ because he actually makes a living while they still deliver pizza or work at the music store; gets more chicks than drummers who can’t scratch